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I. Fight with care upon an uneven list, lest thou be bounced upon thy buttocks in a most
ungentlemanly manner.
II. Fight not without a groin cup, lest thy lady be frustrated nightly, and have no further use for
thee, except thy wage.
III. Fight not with lowered kidney pad, for if thou dost, thy buddies will surely be buying beers
for thy widow, and consoling her in ways not generally acceptable to thee.
IV. Awake! and take great care to measure the force of thine opponent's blows, lest he be
tempted to adjust his whipsticks to the "hurt real bad" setting as a means of gaining thy attention.
V. Strike not below the knee, lest the fury of the marshall shall descend about thy head and
shoulders.
VI. Know thou that what you have gotten away with in whatever place you came from doth not
supercede "Society Minimums".
VII. Ensure the padding which enrims your sheild is of a goodly quality, lest flying splinters dim
thy vision evermore. (It's all just fun 'till someone puts an eye out...)
VIII. Remember that though the opponent opposite you is a low life member of that other
egg-sucking villeinous kingdom/barony/household, he is also that rarest of friends, one who will
willingly let you attempt to strike him with a big honking stick. Protect him accordingly.
IX. Strike not the man with the stripey stick.
X. Read thou the words of the prophets, which are written in the instruction manuals, and you
cannot make mistakes, sometimes, maybe. Amen.